When you really REALLY need another nap.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I CAN’T WAKE UP. I got out bed at 9 this morning, skipped lunch for a nap on the couch at noon, woke up just long enough to fall asleep again at 2:45, and now I’m sitting at my desk dreaming about nap number three instead of what’s for dinner. The whole day has been such a strange fog that I’m not really positive I’ve been awake for any of it ... although somehow I know that the Vikings beat the Cowboys this afternoon 24 to 21. And I’ve also got enough functioning neurons to know the Cowboys are playing sucky football.

Let me apologize for this. I almost forgot to show you the three new products I ordered last week from Schwan’s. For the most part I’ve been pretty satisfied with a lot of their products, although some are seriously overpriced (compared to the supermarket) and others taste too bland. I guess Schwan’s tries to appeal to the broadest possible audience; the result is cuisine that can be reminiscent of a middle school cafeteria.

The only product I’m really fond of here is the au gratin potatoes. Even Sam liked them, and Sam really doesn’t like ANYTHING except raisins, a lobster tail with butter, yogurt, cashews from Costco and an occasional large chicken burrito. I tried Schwan’s pot stickers a couple of hours ago and wound up feeding them to the garbage disposer. They LOOK normal enough but have zero Asian flavor and a texture like Legos. The crust is so hard (the label on the bag says they’re “pan seared”) that I couldn’t bite through it or even chew. I do not intend to destroy my brand new teeth on plastic food.

As for the brown & serve sausages, they taste fine but seem a little too greasy for me. Plus, they’re frozen in little rock-hard piles of eight, which means a person has to heat up eight at a time when you might only want three. Since I eat sausages so infrequently I know I won’t bother ordering these again when they run out. At this rate, it’s possible they’ll be lurking in my freezer FOREVER.

Thank you so much for reading this. I’m hungry.