Another nitwit bites the dust.

Sam has zero interest in men’s figure skating. I’m not sure why, although it’s my guess he just doesn’t enjoy the spectacle of skinny, fruity guys spinning around in velvet Romeo costumes. But they don’t bother ME, so last night I decided to watch the men’s figure skating finals from Vancouver. For about an hour the competition was a little tedious. Some of the skaters were goony, one had really bad skin, none were very interesting and everybody fell down. Eventually we get to the GOOD STUFF ... the last group of six who had the highest scores after the short program on Tuesday.

In a well-deserved upset, U.S. figure skater Evan Lysacek turned in a gold medal performance against Evgeny Plushenko from Russia, the smarmy little nitwit who was so positive he’d won that he actually blew kisses to the judges after his performance. Always striving to maintain his status as the biggest jerk on ice, after Plushenko lost the gold to Lysacek he remarked to reporters: “I suppose Evan needs the medal more than I do. Maybe it’s because I already have one.” Lysacek (left) and Plushenko are pictured above.

In other Olympics news, those wacky sports-loving South Koreans apparently hold such unfathomable hatred for U.S. short track speed skater Apolo Ohno that online blogs and bulletin boards are plastered with nasty posts and death threats. The bad blood goes back eight years to the Olympics in Salt Lake City, where South Koreans think Ohno stole the gold from Kim Dong-sung, who finished first in the 1500-meter race but was disqualified for blocking. As a result, angry anti-Ohno emails numbering in the thousands shut down the U.S. Olympic Committee server for nine hours, a South Korean company manufactured toilet paper with Ohno’s face on every sheet, and there’s even a South Korean video game featuring an Ohno character you can shoot in the head. Oy ... talk about SORE LOSERS. I’m surprised the Olympic Committee hasn’t disqualified the entire country of South Korea for being unsportsmanlike SLOBS. Thank you for reading this.