How to prep for the perfect weekend.

Take care of the necessities. The first thing you need to do is make sure the fridge is stocked with essentials in case you decide to be slugs and not leave the house, so this morning I shipped Sam off to Wal-Mart for coffee, a honeydew melon, Coke Zero, a jar of Hellmann’s mayonnaise, Equal packets and a gallon of nonfat milk. We’re totally ready for ANYTHING now. And because it’s also important to have plenty of clean socks, bath towels and underpants, I did a big tub of laundry this afternoon that also included oven mitts and my favorite caftan. The dryer is spinning as I write this, and with any luck everything should be folded and put away before Sam gets home from work. I don’t expect him until midnight, however, so I won’t have to break my neck. (Incidentally, there’s also an outside chance I might let everything sit in the dryer until tomorrow morning. But don’t tell anybody.)

Plan for the possibilities. I just finished reading pages 44 through 55 in the current issue of “D” — Dallas’ snooty, glossy magazine with lots of ads for luxury real estate and brocade furniture. The 11 pages in question, however, are the magazine’s top 20 picks for the Best Breakfasts in Dallas, and that’s a list worth studying because Sam and I really love breakfast. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t bet money that we’ll ever try any of the magazine’s favorite spots because they’re way too trendy, a lot of them are in ritzy hotels, and you actually have to call for reservations. That’s a lot of pretentious crap-a-roo. Nobody should have to put on mascara and drive 45 minutes for a plate of scrambled eggs.

One more thing. “D” Magazine also listed the winners of the Best Doctors in Dallas readers’ poll. I’m pleased to report that my podiatrist’s partner was named Best Podiatrist in Dallas for the fifth year in a row. Although this makes me wonder why my doctor is satisfied with obscurity and what kind of mysterious, god-like podiatry skills his partner may possess, it’s still comforting to know I’m in the vicinity of greatness whenever I show up to get my toenails trimmed.

Thank you for reading this and have a swell weekend.