I think I'm too excited to sleep.

I woke up at this morning at 6:15 because Sam and I are going to Costco today, and I’m so excited I decided to leap out of bed at the crack of dawn and write my shopping list. So far it includes a jumbo bottle of Naproxen, toothpaste, Olay shower gel, raspberries, a tub of Costco’s house-made shrimp salad, cashews, socks for Sam, a two-pound package of lox, Ziploc bags and toilet paper. I’d also love to buy Tide liquid detergent but I can’t even lift the bottle that Costco sells.

In other news ... Sam and I would like to extend our very best wishes for a HAPPY LABOR DAY. We hope you’ll consider a long nap or throwing something fun on the grill. We’ll probably do BOTH. At present, Sam is starting the weekend with an early-morning “donut run” to his favorite little greasy haunt in Garland. I don’t go with him for two reasons: 1) I’m diabetic; and 2) the first reason should be good enough.

We also hope you’ll tune in to watch five or ten minutes of the annual MDA telethon starring Scary Jerry Lewis. Jerry hasn’t aged very well, obviously, and it’s my guess that he’d probably be doing MDA a favor if he finally stopped showing up every year. Plus, after reading a disturbing news report online I also think he’s a total clod for refusing to acknowledge his disabled daughter Suzan, who was born out of wedlock 56 years ago AND LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HIM. Sort of puts a new slant on the phrase “Jerry’s kids,” doesn’t it? Sheesh.