Friday night chills.

Consider this a “prequel” to Saturday Night Fever. It’s 6 p.m. Friday and I’m not feeling well. Seriously, I just woke up from a short nap in the family room with chills, aching muscles in my legs and a very hot neck — all of which confirm 100% that I have a temperature. My best guess, even without shlepping to the master bathroom to look for our thermometer, is 100°, which also happens to be the current outdoor temperature in Mesquite as I write this post. I think all of you should send something to cheer me up as soon as possible. May I suggest: 1) an email; 2) chicken noodle soup; 3) a box of 64 crayons; 4) sugar-free lemon jello; or 5) cash. I really like cash.

Another possibility is a fabulous Flash Gordon DVD set from Amazon.com for $9.99. These are the original serials from the 1930s that I watched on TV as a kid, starring Buster Crabbe as Flash, Jean Rogers as Dale Arden, their famous COAL-POWERED ROCKET SHIP (seriously) and the whole cast of outer space characters — Dr. Zarkov, Prince Barin, Ming the Merciless, Princess Aura, the Clay People, the Shark Men, Ming’s evil Death Ray aimed at Earth and so on. The three films in the collection are Space Soldiers, Flash Gordon’s Trip to Mars and Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe. 

Here’s a Flash Gordon clip from YouTube for your possible interest. These movies used to scare the crap out of me on Saturday mornings when I was eight years old, especially Ming and the Clay People.

The only thing scarier is this photo of has-been athlete Bruce Jenner following his last round of plastic surgery. Thank you for reading this.