When you join AARP there’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is, members get lots of coupons for Kellogg’s cereal, 20% off dinner at Denny’s EVEN IF YOU ORDER FROM THE SENIOR MENU and some pretty good deals on cruises. The downside? AARP never leaves you alone. Every day I get AT LEAST half a dozen cheerful little emails from them covering such critical issues as:
- Discuss your favorite songs for summer.
- New screening tips for lung cancer.
- Learn to play Surf Solitaire.
- How to make Tomato Salad with Lavender Dressing.
- Seven reasons to change your will NOW.
- How safe is your colon?
- 99 ways to improve your car’s gas mileage.*
*I would rather blow my brains out than read an article with a title like this.
Truth is, I joined AARP to support their lobbying efforts in Congress on behalf on senior citizens and also — mostly — for the discounts. But I sure didn’t bargain for their nonstop barrage of tips, ideas, recipes, news, medical breakthoughs for incontinence and generally corny crapola. This is even worse than Reader’s Digest, but if I opt-out I’m afraid I’ll miss the occasional message that’s actually worth reading. If you have any suggestions please send me an
email.
According to
Weather.com the high temperature in Dallas today was 106°. This is somewhere between a griddle and a blast furnace, and it’s so hot I don’t want to leave the house even though Kohl’s is having a really big sale and Sam needs ties. I’ve ramped up to “emergency heat wave” mode, which means I set the thermostat at 80°, turned on all the ceiling fans and made tuna salad for dinner. It’s ALMOST TOO HOT TO EAT and you wouldn’t believe how much weight I’ve been losing! Of course, this is primarily due to a side effect from my new meds (decreased appetite) and the occasional — albeit accidental — ingestion of a sugar-free ingredient called “maltitol” that works on my intestinal tract like a hydrogen bomb. I apologize if this is too much information.
Thank you for reading this.
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