Dealing with winter weather sissies.

A deep freeze is descending on Dallas tonight. Everywhere I look there are warnings and winter weather advisories that would make a person think we’re living in Siberia. In truth, the temperature will drop into the mid-20s tonight and stay slightly below freezing through mid-day on Saturday. We’re also expecting a breeze from the north, so there’s a wind-chill thing going on, too.

Let’s be honest about this for a minute. TEXANS ARE BUNCH OF WINTER SISSIES. I grew up in Chicago and spent most of my life braving some of the crappiest winter weather this side of the Antarctic. I’m talking about temperatures so cold your shins crack and your NOSTRILS FREEZE SHUT, getting up at 4:45 in the morning in sub-zero weather to catch a 6:00 commuter train in the dark with NO HEAT, trudging in knee-deep snow to wait for a bus that never shows up, limping 10 blocks downtown through frozen slush up to my ankles in a pair of leaky leather boots with a broken heel (that was back in 1986 and I don’t think I ever recovered) and snow so deep my car had FOUR FLAT TIRES when the weather finally thawed out six weeks later. And you have to do all this even when you don’t feel well and you’re shlepping a thermometer, Robitussin, Midol and a crate of tampons in your briefcase.

So don’t talk to me about a winter weather advisory for 25° with a breeze. In Chicago we considered that SPRING. This is almost as weird as Los Angeles with their “emergency weather statements” whenever it drizzles on the 405 freeway. I’M SURROUNDED BY SISSIES. Thank you for reading this.