I’ve got so much excellent crap to report that I think my head might explode before I have a chance to finish writing this post! First, a recap of my doctor appointment this morning. I lost 28½ unexpected pounds since my last visit in May, and my “vitals” are as follows: blood pressure 118/60; pulse 74; temperature 98.7. And it’s nice to know that I’m still 5'7½" tall, which means Sam must be experiencing a mid-life growth spurt because I’ve been feeling really short lately. I should mention, also, that Dr. M added two more prescriptions to my ever-growing list of daily meds. These are: 1) Trazodone Hydrochloride (a sleep aid); and 2) Lotrisone cream to help with the creepy itchy rash between the fingers on my right hand.
The results of my quarterly lab tests will be forthcoming. Please feel free to continue your normal routine in the meantime.
Today’s new purchases (so far) from
Amazon.com include two big bottles of Dial NutriSkin body wash, Clorox bleach and three containers of sugar-free marble halva, all pictured below.
I might consider one or two additional purchases since I don’t have anything else on my agenda tonight aside from regularly-scheduled Olympics crapola.
As long as I’m on the subject, it’s time (at last) for the latest from London. It seems that seven athletes from Cameroon are nowhere to be found, according to David Ojong, the poor slob who was supposed to be keeping track of them. The missing athletes include five male boxers, a female soccer player and a male swimmer. None has been seen since Monday. A reserve soccer player, Drusille Ngako, went missing on July 26. The Cameroonian delegation advised the London Games organizers and Cameroon’s embassy, although it still isn’t clear if the missing athletes plan to seek asylum in the United Kingdom or not. Maybe they all just went shopping. In the meantime I don’t think it should be be too hard to find them in outfits like this.
I also want to introduce you to Bulgaria’s Iordan Iovtchev, the oldest male gymnast at the London Games who showed up night before last to take a shot at the still rings and floor exercises. This is Iovtchev’s sixth — and hopefully his
final — Olympics. He didn’t win a medal in London but apparently has been a household name in Bulgaria for the last 25 years, which gives you a rough idea how exciting life must be for your average Bulgarian. Holy crap.
From our Country Music Hall of Fame department, not too long ago singing legend Randy Travis, 53, was found chugging wine in front of the First Baptist Church in Sanger, Texas. But I guess that wasn’t Randy’s personal best because last night he walked BUCK NAKED into a Grayson County convenience store to buy cigarettes, crashed his car, then laid down (still naked) in the middle of County Road 922, not far from his house in Tioga. During his arrest Randy allegedly threatened to shoot a state trooper, which is actually kind of funny since he obviously wasn’t carrying a concealed weapon. The stupid dude’s mug shot is posted below.
Thank you for reading this.
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