Cut-up chicken whatnots from Schwan’s are a perfect convenience for the modern housewife.

Here’s a late-breaking story from our Financial News Desk! I am now an official Netrition.com affiliate because I frequently use a considerable amount Howdygram real estate to rave about their products and their website, and I figured why not try to make a few extra bucks while I’m at it. I have no idea if any of my readers actually shop on Netrition.com, but if you click through using any link on the Howdygram I’ll eventually be a millionaire! (Okay, I might be exaggerating. Maybe they’ll pay me $35.)

I am a modern housewife. I just ordered a sack of pre-cooked, pre-cubed frozen chicken from Schwan’s so I won’t have to cook and cube my own damn chicken any more. (For some reason that looks a whole lot worse in print than I thought it would.) This stuff gets excellent customer reviews online — no surprise — for flavor and convenience, but at $13 a bag they’d better be 100% INCREDIBLE. I get my biweekly Schwan’s delivery tomorrow morning. Please stay tuned for a full review.

There’s hot news tonight from the Middle East. At least three men from the United Arab Emirates attending the Heritage & Cultural Festival in Saudi Arabia were kicked out of the country when religious police officers decided they were “too handsome” to stay. Members of the Saudi mutaween police suddenly stormed the pavilion and removed the men by force after the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices feared that female festival visitors would find them “too irresistible.” The Emirati delegates were deported back to their home country. In my opinion, the only Arab who’d ever qualify for deportation on these grounds would be Sherif Ali* and DEFINITELY NOT the sword-swinging screwballs pictured in the photo below. Holy crap.

*That’s Omar Sharif in Lawrence of Arabia. (He was even prettier than Peter O’Toole.)

One final thought before I join Sam in the family room to watch tonight’s episodes of “Deadliest Catch” and “Hardcore Pawn.” In case you’ve ever wondered how much sugar you’re actually consuming, check out the following video clip.



Pass the Splenda and thank you for reading this.