Sarah Palin, the unpopular mean girl who didn’t get invited to the cool kids’ party.

And now for something completely different! As I write this post I’m also bidding on eBay in an effort to snag myself some cheap boxes of glucose test strips. They’re about $58 on Amazon.com but I just discovered them on eBay for a whole lot less. I won an auction about half an hour ago and bought a box of 100 for $41.95 with free shipping, and now I’m bidding on another box of 100 from a different seller. My current high bid is $32 and the auction closes in about 25 minutes. This is cutting into my nap time but what the hell, it’s worth the trouble if I can save some dough on these stupid things. I test my blood glucose four times a day, which means a box of 100 test strips lasts about three weeks.

In my opinion glucose test strips are the Diabetesland version of inkjet printer cartridges. You can buy a name-brand printer dirt cheap but it’s the ink that’ll bankrupt you. Well, diabetics are in the same boat with all their testing crapola. You can find glucose meters on Amazon for less than ten bucks — or even get one FREE from your doctor — but the test strips cost a fortune and (no surprise) they’re also an essential part of a diabetic’s daily routine. With a prescription the insurance co-pay is about $65 for 50 strips, and on Amazon (as I mentioned earlier) you’ll pay about $58 for 100. That’s why this eBay auction is such a big stinking hoo-hah. I always thought Amazon was cheap but my current bid on eBay is $26 less than Amazon’s lowest price. I’m so excited I might need pickles & biscuits for dinner.

Here’s our latest Putz of the Week award! This time the Howdygram is honoring crab-ass Sarah Palin, the half-term loser from Alaska, for her snotty, unsolicited remarks about the White House Correspondents’ Dinner a couple of days ago. Palin wrote on her Facebook page: “Yuk it up, media and pols. While America is buried in taxes and a fight for our rights, the permanent political class in DC dresses up and has a prom to make fun of themselves. No need for that, we get the real joke.” And on Twitter, she wrote: “That White House Correspondents’ Dinner was pathetic. The rest of America is out there working our asses off while these DC assclowns throw themselves a #nerdprom.”

Isn’t this exactly what we’d expect from the unpopular mean girl who didn’t get invited to the cool kids’ party? Stay classy, Sarah. Maybe next year you’ll be asked to deliver the keynote address at the National Bowhunters’ Conference. They meet in the back room of a Waffle House in Anchorage.

Yesterday online I saw a photo of Sean Connery taken a few days ago while he was strolling around Manhattan. I thought he looked not too decrepit at 82 years old but didn’t actually realize how much he’d aged until I Googled a photo of Sean in a bodybuilding competition from the mid-1950s. Oy, people, I’m speechless. James Bond is a GEEZER!

I think I’ll gnaw on a couple of Slim Jims now and watch today’s episode of “People’s Court.” Thank you for reading this. Seriously.