Sam welcomes the Obamas to Dallas.

There’s a huge hoo-hah tonight in Dallas because all of our former presidents are flying into town for the George W. Bush Presidential Center dedication tomorrow. Sam called me during his dinner break tonight at work and said swarms of Secret Service, police cars and big black Suburbans were streaming into the Crescent Hotel across the courtyard from his office. The Obamas are staying overnight at the Omni, so the big show at the Crescent had to be for the Carters or the Clintons. Is this exciting, or what?

In case you’re wondering, I didn’t forget. In an earlier post I promised to write a review of Schwan’s pre-cooked, pre-cubed chicken whatnots, and here it is. In a word: I’M NOT IMPRESSED. (Okay, fine. That’s three words.)

These little wads of white meat chicken are very attractive and convenient as hell, but there are a couple of major negatives: 1) they’ve got the texture of a poached mousepad; and 2) they’re insanely overpriced to the tune of $13.11 for 1½ pounds. That last point is especially important when you consider Schwan’s sells a five-pound sack of really beautiful individually-frozen boneless chicken boobies for only three bucks more. Thank you.

When Sam finally gets home from work tonight — hopefully by midnight — we’re going watch Artists and Models (1955) starring Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, which I recorded a few hours ago on the Retro movie channel.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Artists and Models, believe it or not, because nobody ever shows the old Martin and Lewis comedies on TV ... and I don’t know why! A couple of days ago Sam and I watched Martin and Lewis in The Stooge (1953) and it was HILARIOUS. Nobody does comedy like Jerry Lewis. I adore this guy.

Without a doubt, though, one of my favorite Jerry Lewis shticks is from The Patsy (1964) when he’s in a studio recording “I Lost My Heart in a Drive-In Movie” with three backup singers.

I guess that’s about it for tonight, people. Sam’s on his way home (he just called) and I’m craving pickles, Beanit Butter and chocolate Soy Slender soy milk. For the record, my taste buds are definitely NOT aging very well.

Thank you for reading this.