I promised you an update, so here it is.

The results of my lab tests weren’t as thrilling as the rest of my checkup earlier this week. Apparently a couple of blood tests indicated that my renal function is beginning to decline so we’re experimenting with different doses of my two diabetes meds. Also, my triglycerides are still too high so I have to take TWO Niacin capsules every night instead of just one. I’m supposed to go back to the doctor in four weeks for another round of lab work. Maybe the lab should just install a 24-hour hotline in one of my veins so I can shoot them a few tubes whenever they need it. Sheesh.

In other news, all of a sudden my Ovation Creative website clients are dropping like flies. In the past month I’ve lost FOUR of them — three closed their businesses and the fourth went broke and hoped I’d be dumb enough to continue hosting her website for free.

Please allow me to discuss client number four for a moment, who was a semi-deadbeat from the get-go. During the past three years every time she made a payment to me for ANYTHING I’d get a “declined” error message on my credit card terminal and would have to play email tag with her for days on end until she finally paid what she owed me. The last straw was earlier this month when she was supposed to shell out $89.85 for quarterly website hosting. Her card was declined on the date the payment was due and I had to send FIVE EMAILS over the course of seven days until she finally got back to me with the following message: “Sorry, I’ve been so busy! I’ll send new my credit card information tomorrow!”

The next day was Friday, which came and went with no communication. Ditto for Saturday and ditto for Sunday. Finally, on Monday she sends the following email sometime during the evening: “I will not be able to make my web hosting payment. Financial issues are taking every dime I have and I honestly can’t afford to pay you. Thanks!”

I’m especially intrigued by that cheerful little “Thanks!” at the end, because she apparently assumes I’m running a website charity service for bankrupt ninnies. I write back and tell her that, under the circumstances, I’ll have to unpublish her website and cancel her hosting account, and please feel free to get in touch some day in the far, far distant future if you ever win the lottery and want to start over. She freaks out and shoots back a fast email asking isn’t there anything she can do to please keep her website online. So I write back: “ONLY IF YOU PAY FOR HOSTING.”

I never heard from her again.

On the plus side, however, new clients are filling the void. I designed and published a really cool website for Michael Page Associates a couple of days ago and I’m also creating one for a local handyman service here in Mesquite. These projects are excellent distractions so I won’t have to think about what the devil is going on with my kidneys. I also wouldn’t mind dim sum tomorrow for lunch.

Thank you for reading this.