Saturated at last.

Before I get into the “saturated” issue I’ll begin by reporting that Sam got home on Sunday safe and sound. His flight was a little late — they ALL are these days — but I knew this ahead of time and didn’t get to the airport earlier than I had to. The best part is, he brought me a present! I’m now the proud owner of nine NEW PHOTOS OF BABY SAM that I’d never seen before. And they’re all BIG ones, taken by a professional photographer. I’m so excited I could scream.

And now for the title topic — SATURATION. After virtually zero rainfall in the Dallas area for the last four weeks, which included the entire month of June to date, we finally had some mighty wild thunderstorms around here after dark on Monday and Tuesday this week with straightline winds and nearly SIX INCHES of torrential rain. That’s actually 30% more than our typical rainfall for the whole month in less than 18 hours. We desperately needed the rain — especially after two weeks of triple-digit temperatures — but six inches in 18 hours is just crazy. If I knew where to send the letter I’d file a complaint about this.

I’d also like to share the news about my good quarterly checkup yesterday. I’ve lost 35 pounds since the end of March and my blood pressure was 118/70. This is EXCEPTIONALLY FABULOUS and I’ll have more information as soon as I get my lab results, probably tomorrow. Incidentally, in case you’re wondering how the hell did I drop so much weight in three months, I’d like to thank my HAPPY PILLS and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. (Okay, maybe the Academy didn’t have anything to do with this.) My rheumatologist prescribed Amitriptylene for me eight weeks ago to relieve the pain in my hands from peripheral neuropathy, and as a unexpected bonus it’s also an anti-depressant and a powerful APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. As a result I’m a pain-free, disgustingly happy senior citizen who has zero interest in food. Life doesn’t get much better than this.

I’d like to make one final push for everybody to enter our current contest. We’re still in the process of counting and rolling coins from Sam’s gigantic jar of change, and the results — and the winner — will be announced on June 30. Click here to enter now and thank you for reading this.