The biggest hoo-hah of the year.

It’s finally here — the 125th Texas State Fair opens tomorrow and runs through October 23. The weird doofus in the yellow cowboy hat (see below) is Big Tex, who stands 50 feet tall and scares you half to death at the main entrance.

Admission is $14.50 per person or $12.50 for children and seniors. On the odd chance that you’re planning to attend and haven’t mentioned it to us yet, the Howdygram would like you to note the following fabulous ADMISSION DISCOUNTS.

• Opening Day. Bring any Coca Cola product and get in for $5 per person.
• Senior Day. Admission is free on Thursdays if you’re 60 and over. Show your cane for a discount ride on the Texas Star ferris wheel.
• Dr. Pepper Tuesdays. On Tuesdays bring an empty Dr. Pepper can and get in for $4.
• Coke Thursdays. Bring an empty 20 oz. bottle of Coke on Thursdays and get in for $5.
• Cinemark Thursdays. Show a ticket stub from Cinemark Theaters and get in free on Thursdays. 
• Kroger Canned Food Drive. On Wednesdays admission is $2 for each visitor bringing three cans of food for the North Texas Food Bank. (Please, no canned unicorn meat, sauerkraut or spotted dick. Even desperate people have their standards.)

For the record, we’re planning to attend on Tuesday, October 11, with Sam’s brother David and three empty Dr. Pepper cans.

And now, at last, it’s time to watch “Project Runway” and eat dinner. Thank you for reading this.