Sleeping, shopping, noshing and corn pads.

I wasn’t planning to write a post but Sam has been asleep since 7:30 last night and posting sounds like a worthwhile diversion. Yesterday afternoon Sam and I decided we want new furniture for the family room — in particular, a sectional sofa — so he told me to see what I can find online in local stores and we’ll go shopping over the weekend. This is what I’ve been doing for the last several hours aside from eating TicTacs. I think our store of choice on Saturday will be the La-Z-Boy Gallery about five minutes from home.

And now I’d like an answer to a simple, two-part rhetorical question. I want to know why everybody all of a sudden feels compelled to write an online review for every product in the universe, and when did the opinion of morons become a critical component of e-commerce. If you bother to read online reviews you’ll immediately notice that the vast majority of reviewers are card-carrying idiots who nitpick about petty crap they should have noticed before they spent their money, such as the Einstein reviewer on Havertys.com who must have been blindfolded and unconscious when she bought her new sofa. She gave it a one-star rating because the seats are too shallow and she hates the shape of the arms.

You can also find reviews on Wal-Mart’s website for products like toothpaste and corn pads. I don’t know about YOU, but I think it’s pretty scary that somebody wants to compose two paragraphs about corn pads. (It’s even scarier that somebody wants to READ them.) And 19 users have reviewed Cottonelle butt wipes with comments such as: “When the wipes arrived they were squished up and almost didn’t fit in my dispenser” and “I like these better than toilet paper.”

Good God, people, GET A LIFE. This must be shopper’s hell.

By the way, Sam had root canal yesterday morning on a lower molar and spent the rest of the day at home, sleeping and taking Motrin. Apparently the infection is so bad he has to go back for a second treatment in a couple of weeks. You can click here to console Sam with a friendly email message.

Thank you for reading this.