The Russell Stover factory store is an ideal destination for a diabetic pilgrimage.

Because I’m frequently obsessed with this subject I’ve decided to do a mostly all-food Howdygram post this afternoon!

I guess you can think of it like a pizza in a pizza in a pizza. Pizza Hut Singapore calls it their “Double Sensation Pizza” just in time for Christmas dinner with a scary list of nauseating ingredients: “Two unique crusts, one stuffed with cheesy sausage and another with 3-flavor cheese, topped with succulent smoked chicken and rolls of turkey ham lunch meat on two tantalizing sauces – Pepper Alfredo and Salsa.”

Judging from the image posted above, other ingredients include sliced zucchini, red and green bell pepper, mushrooms, cheese nipples and elves. Yes, there’s a maraschino cherry on top. The only thing missing is Pepto Bismol.

From the Wonderful World of Alcohol comes a new product line by Devotion Vodka scheduled for release in 2013: Shaquille O’Neil’s “Luv Shaq” flavored vodkas, which are sugar-free and gluten-free for health-conscious drunks and athletes. An article in the New York Post says the bottles will feature a sexy image of O’Neal with giant wings. Holy crap. Gouge my eyes out.

And finally, I can’t help shaking my head in amazement at the latest failure in Congress as Speaker of the House John Boehner gets kicked to the curb by practically everybody. While Republicans will assuredly go down for their pointless infighting, posturing and outrageous efforts to protect only the wealthiest Americans, now they’ve even revolted against Boehner as he looks for a way out of the fiscal cliff crisis, which is currently being held at gunpoint by the right-wing halfwits in his own party.

While the Democrats push for middle class tax relief, Republicans are still harping on breaks for the top one percent ... which means the Democrats are in an excellent position to retake the House in 2014. I say the sooner the better. Just tell me where to send my check.

Whoa. I found out a few minutes ago that Boehner is only 5'6" tall. Why doesn’t somebody just smack the crap out of him?

Around 11 this morning Sam and I hit the road for a nice 75-mile drive to our favorite barbecue restaurant in Fairfield, Texas, except when we pulled into the parking lot it looked like half the state got there 15 minutes before we did. The joint was MOBBED. In retrospect, it probably wasn’t such a hot idea to pick a restaurant on I-45 halfway between Dallas and Houston during the busiest travel day of the year. So ... to perk up my spirits on the way home I conned Sam into stopping at the Russell Stover factory store in Corsicana for some sugar-free chocolate. THIS PLACE IS THE REAL DEAL, PEOPLE! It’s a gigantic CHOCOLATE SUPERMARKET across from the Russell Stover manufacturing plant and an ideal destination for a diabetic pilgrimage. I tried to wheedle Sam into a chocolate marshmallow Santa but he wasn’t interested. NOT INTERESTED? Who doesn’t love chocolate marshmallow Santas? No kidding, that boy ain’t right.

For your possible interest, the map below indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters in Mesquite; B) the restaurant in Fairfield that was too damn crowded for lunch; and C) Russell Stover’s in Corsicana. They even do factory tours!

Thank you for reading this. I need a nap.