Another Frankenpizza from Asia.

It’s a cold, foggy Friday morning here at Howdygram headquarters. I keep playing with the idea of going back to bed for a while, but there’s not much point since I didn’t sleep very well last night and don’t especially want to start thrashing around again. So I’ll write a post instead. (Lucky you.)

Less than a week after writing about Pizza Hut Singapore’s picturesque “Double Sensation Pizza” (see post) I’m pleased to present the “Cheesy Opera Pizza” from Hong Kong, Pizza Hut’s frightening double-decker Frankenpizza that includes all of the following: “A twisted cheese crust base fully loaded with chicken, ham, beef, pork, tomato, oregano and red onion, topped with a smaller, thin-crust pizza with scallops, clam meat, peaches, mushrooms, red peppers and Japanese cucumber on pesto sauce with a drizzle of honey mustard.”

I’m sorry, people, but clams, peaches, pesto sauce and mustard are NOT a valid flavor profile, and it sounds more like a couple of stoners in Hong Kong decided to empty the refrigerator. Personally, I’ll stick with something a little more sophisticated: Loma Linda fake meat in a can.

Since I’m obviously writing a food-intensive Howdygram post I might as well throw in the following video clip. This is competitive eater Jamie “The Bear” McDonald plowing his way through the entire new Hobbit menu at Denny’s ... seven entrees, three desserts and a smoothie. Holy crap.

From our Only in Texas department comes the latest story about Big Tex, the Texas State Fair’s gigantic mascot statue that burned to a crisp back in October (see post). Apparently the State Fair’s P.R. Einsteins issued a Christmas letter from Big Tex to the general public, essentially ignoring the fact that he was fried beyond recognition down to his steel frame and suggesting instead that Tex is recovering at an upscale Texas spa (with Elvis!) and wants people to donate money to help defray the cost. Yes, there’s even a website.

It may (or may not, obviously) interest you to know that Big Tex got his start as a gigantic creepy Santa in Kerens, Texas, back in 1950. The State Fair bought him two years later and dressed him like a cowboy. That face is enough to scare the crap out of anybody.

And now I think I’ll shlep into the family room and wrap myself in an afghan. I’m FREEZING. Thank you for reading this.