Monday, January 24, 2011

Dallas gets ready for Super Bowl XLV.

Okay, so here’s what’s going on with the NFL just in case you’ve been living in a cave. The Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers won their conference championships yesterday and will meet in the Super Bowl on February 6 at Cowboys Stadium. This is a VERY BIG DEAL for the Dallas metro area. Restaurants are busy raising their prices, illegal parking lots are sprouting up all over town, and Rick’s Cabaret — a new topless strip club near the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport — is going ALL NUDE in time for the Super Bowl, because that’s apparently what 100,000 out-of-town visitors want most during their stay here. But you’ll have to bring your own liquor to Rick’s, because according to Dallas law you can’t have naked dancing women if your establishment sells alcohol. Yee-ha. What a world.

Also, for your possible amusement I thought I’d include an extremely boring time-lapse video that shows a gigantic “XLV” being erected at the Dallas Convention Center. No kidding, this might be the longest two minutes of your life.

If you’re interested in attending Super Bowl XLV, ticket options include $663,208 for a spot in the owner’s private box with nice sandwiches, $9,680 for a stadium seat along the 50-yard line or $2,376 in the last row of the upper deck behind two pillars and a Jumbotron. Rumor has it that Jerry Jones also plans to sell tickets to people who want to hang around outside and watch the game on a screen from the parking lot at $200 apiece, but I can’t imagine anything more depressing than that ... except maybe shlepping a six-pack to Rick’s to look at naked women.

Thank you for reading this.

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