You blew it. Seriously.

Since nobody paid any attention to the last paragraph of my post on January 5, I was the only BIG WINNER yesterday at the Choctaw Casino. This was an outstanding experience of the first degree. Trust me, I’m not usually much of a gambler. I tend not to spend money unless I’m buying something of value, like kitchen gadgets, Chinese food or fonts.

We started with a very nice lunch at the casino buffet. Even Sam enjoyed it, which says a lot because he’s never been a fan of fish sticks, meatballs and Cheez Whiz. Afterwards we rambled around the casino floor and played various slot machines here and there until we found some good ones with no chain smokers nearby. This was a major accomplishment.

My lucky slot turned out to be a penny machine called “Silk Kimono.” This is basically a misnomer, however, because you don’t bet 1¢. You bet 15, 20 or 30 lines at a time at 1¢ (or up to 10¢) per line. Which means the minimum bet is actually 15¢ and the maximum can be $3 if you feel like blowing large wads of dough. I was betting 20¢.

On my first bet I won $3.50. On my second bet all the bells and whistles went off and I won the Bonus Round ... 12 free spins with a multiplier after each spin that increases the reward. I wound up winning $29.60 on a 20¢ bet. That might not sound like a lot to YOU, but do the math. The screen was making so much noise I drew a crowd. At that point we decided to cash out and head back to Texas with a U-Haul for my jackpot.

The Choctaw Casino is in Durant, Oklahoma, and it’s surprisingly gorgeous. Everything was remodeled in 2009 ... a new hotel tower, new gaming floors, new restaurants, you name it. We were totally impressed. I even joined Club 55 for the senior discounts. Next time we go I want to do an overnight so I can get the breakfast buffet for 55¢. This alone would be worth the trip.

I’m ready for bed now. Sam is already asleep, which is excellent because I want to whisper subliminal messages in his ear about dim sum so he’ll wake up thinking about shrimp dumplings for lunch. It works every time. Thank you for reading this and pass the soy sauce.