The Howdygram’s fall Gefilte Fish Festival is on hold indefinitely.

I would like to thank President Obama for last night’s inspirational acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention, which was actually a whole lot better than the “home run” described by pundits on MSNBC ... the President hit this one into the stratosphere. I recorded last night’s entire session (six hours) so Sam can watch it over the weekend. I don’t think he’ll need a box of Kleenex, however, because he’s not a weepy geezer like yours truly.

Breaking news! A brand new Trader Joe’s — our first in the Dallas metro area — opened this morning in Plano at the northeast corner Park and Preston. I’m expecting to show up there one day next week when they unlock the doors at 8 a.m. armed with a cane, poison darts and a foghorn, the recommended tools to help determined seniors navigate the throngs of socialites and Escalades.

The map above indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; and B) Trader Joe’s in Plano. I’ve already got my shopping list. Let me know if you need anything (click here) and I’ll be glad to pick it up for you.

Our mailman dropped off a disgusting package this morning ... a soggy, smelly mess of a box bound in heavy plastic with an apology note plastered to the top. Inside were THREE SHATTERED JARS OF GEFILTE FISH swimming in broken glass and rancid liquid. I held my breath to snap the following photos, wrapped the box in a double garbage bag and asked Sam to eject it from the house.

Amazon.com has agreed to refund my money but can’t replace the order because they ran out of product so, for obvious reasons, the Howdygram’s fall Gefilte Fish Festival is on hold indefinitely. To cheer myself up I just ordered a large box of insulin pen needles.

I downloaded another pile of free fonts this afternoon and thought I’d share them here for your possible interest:

I think I’ll make homemade cream of mushroom soup now and watch “People’s Court.” Thank you for reading this.