Monday, October 8, 2012

Satan Sandusky insists he’s innocent. Seriously.

On the eve of his sentencing for 45 counts of child sexual abuse, former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky has released a taped statement to a local radio station insisting that he was framed by his “accusers” because they were interested only in “prestige and financial gain.”
As we all resist the temptation to puke, let’s try to wrap our heads around this for a minute, shall we? Ten humiliated boys and young men — victims, not “accusers” — who didn’t know about each other decide to get rich and famous by pretending they were sexually abused and raped by Satan Sandusy over a period of 15 years. For this reason alone I hope the judge sentences him to 45 consecutive lifetimes behind bars. I personally think Sandusky’s popularity rating is just about the same as Joran van der Sloot’s. HOLY CRAP.

In other news, I just snagged a couple of excellent bargains on cold-weather essentials for our pantry here at Howdygram headquarters! I ordered six 32-oz. containers of College Inn chicken broth for $15.16  from Amazon and three jumbo canisters of Manischewitz matzo ball mix for $15.99 from Soap.com.
FYI, if you’ve never visisted Soap.com please give them a try and tell them Marcy sent you. They’ve got amazing prices on just about everything — including a huge variety of groceries — plus free shipping when you spend $39 or more, which isn’t hard to do. For instance, the matzo ball mix I ordered today was 50% cheaper than Amazon! (I wouldn’t joke about this. We take matzo balls very seriously around here.)

It’s 8:15 p.m. and I think I’d like a nice hot shower and a bucket of steamed cauliflower but not at the same time. Thank you.

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