Incidentally, your dentist quit.

Since the first of the year there’s been a tsunami of dental weirdness in the Dallas metro area. First I get a form letter in the mail from mine, Dr. Jacob, announcing that she’s “following her dream” to dump a busy private practice and JOIN THE ARMY. Her news left me dumbfounded. Although I obviously don’t know if her practice had been suffering since the recession started — with fewer patients, past-due accounts or whatever — Dr. Jacob is about 40 years old with a husband and children, and she’s walking away from a nice suburban dental practice in Mesquite to drill military teeth in Afghanistan. At the end of her form letter Dr. Jacob mentions that since she didn’t have a partner she’s already transferred everybody’s records to Dr. Dill (another local dentist), and we should all feel free to call him next time we need dental care.

That’s an ironic twist, I thought. Sam is a patient of Dr. Dill’s and seems to like him. As a matter of fact, he was there just last week (a two-hour marathon appointment) to have two new crowns made.

Ah, but the plot thickens. A few minutes ago Sam called Dr. Dill’s office because one of his temporary crowns fell out, and the receptionist tells him, “You can come in at 11:30. Except Dr. Dill isn’t here any more so we’ll set you up with his replacement.” Sam asks, WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING? I JUST SAW HIM A WEEK AGO! And she says, “He resigned unexpectedly for personal reasons.”

Show of hands. Think Dr. Dill decided to drill military teeth in Afghanistan?