Cold, wet and crappy.

I have NO idea where this miserable weather came from ... overcast and steady rain for at least 15 consecutive hours. I heard some thunder this morning around 7:30, but mostly it’s just been rain. And COLD. Apparently today’s high of 49° is a record low in Dallas for the second day of May, which is typically in the mid-80s. I am not leaving the house and I don’t even want to look out the window. To keep myself occupied I’m doing a mountain of laundry and watching “Two Fat Ladies” reruns on the Cooking Channel.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the “Two Fat Ladies,” they’re a couple of chain-smoking old broads in England who travel around the countryside on an antique motorcycle with a sidecar, cooking in a different location for each show, like a monastery, a girls’ boarding school or a lighthouse. I have no idea why anybody ever decided to give them a TV show of their own, but the Brits apparently have a stronger stomach for this kind of thing. (The photo above is heavily retouched; Clarissa and Jennifer usually look much worse.) As for their cuisine, be sure to watch if you ever need pointers on cooking with lard, how to clean kidneys or the best way to soak kippers so they don’t stink up your house. I am not joking about this.

In case you’re just tuning in, Osama bin Laden is still dead.

I’m going to fold socks now. Thank you for reading this.