I forgot something.

Forgive me. With all the hoo-hah around here yesterday I forgot to provide key information about Sam’s surgery adventure, such as what the hell it was FOR. Basically, Sam had a lot of skin tags, moles and skin lesions (benign skin cancer) removed by a plastic surgeon. He’s had various lesions removed before, but always one at a time in isolated areas. This time he had four on his face, a couple of big ones on his legs and several on his arms, neck and back, so the surgeon recommended removing them all at once under general anesthesia. Sam looks pretty weird right now — he’s covered with stitches and bandages — but says he’s feeling pretty good and isn’t having any pain.

To speed his recovery I went to Tom Thumb this afternoon and stocked up on all of Sam’s favorites, including Mrs. Fields ice cream sandwiches, deviled egg potato salad, canned peaches, salami, muenster cheese, dehydrated pineapples, blueberry muffins, pretzels, a gigantic seedless watermelon and grapefruit-flavored Perrier. We’re going to have a pig-out party tonight. Those of you who wish to attend please send me an email right away and we’ll try not to eat everything before you get here.

Thank you for reading this.