Pass the TicTacs.

Good morning, boys and girls, and welcome to Howdygramland. I can’t sleep, so I figured why not annoy you with some meaningless middle-of-the-night baloney. In addition to insomnia I’ve also discovered that I’m HUNGRY, but I probably won’t do much about it because I don’t feel like dragging myself into the kitchen. (I’ve got half a box of TicTacs. That’s enough.)

We’ve had quite a week around here. Our new cedar arbor was finished on Thursday and our patio expansion was poured and “stamped” on Friday. The crews worked 12-hour shifts in 105° heat. Seriously, I don’t know how they did it, but EVERYTHING LOOKS AMAZING and Sam is so excited he’s floating on air. The concrete has to cure for a couple of days so I’ll post a few pictures early next week.

And speaking of pictures, here are two for your possible interest. First, I’m pleased to offer this recent shot of Prince Charles and Camilla, cheerfully accepting Britain’s latest austerity measures. The happy couple posed for this official portrait in Buckingham Palace’s remodeled throne room wearing their modern new crowns.

Second, in case you’ve been wondering whatever happened to Richard Simmons, now you know — he’s still creepy and he still won’t admit he’s gay. Sort of like Liberace in gym shorts.

And now, at last, I think I’ll try going back to bed. If I play my cards right I might be able to con Sam into dim sum for lunch today or we can just drive over to Denny’s for an order of Senior Scrambled Eggs. I’m extremely easy. Don’t forget to floss.