It will be legal in Texas to shoot wild hogs from helicopters. Eager hunters can pay for a helicopter ride to blast away at these animals anywhere they roam and on anybody’s property. A Houston-based helicopter company has already reserved rides for more than 30 hog hunters at $475 per hour and another 60 are on a waiting list. Don’t forget to duck.
The government can no longer impose a fine for catching fish with your hands. Fishing for catfish in Texas without a pole has been illegal for more than 100 years, but now bare-fisted lunatics can grab them without facing a $500 fine. In this practice, known as “noodling,” a fisherman sticks his hand in the water until the fish bites it and then wrestles it out of the water. Bubba shows you how it’s done in the photo below.
Welcome to the fastest state in America. Beginning tomorrow y’all can drive faster in Texas than anywhere else in the USA when we raise our maximum state speed limit to 85 miles per hour. I’m sure Governor Perry designed this new law to provide for his good ol’ boys’ most basic needs, such as driving to the convenience store for a six-pack in half the time and never being late to church on Sunday.
If you want to look at naked women while you drink beer you’ll have to pay the state of Texas five bucks. Starting tomorrow Texas strip clubs that serve alcohol will have to collect a “pole tax” (that’s a pun, y’all) just for walking in the front door. Tax revenue is supposed to fund programs for victims of sexual abuse and health care for the uninsured. Fat chance.
And now it’s time to get my dinner out of the oven and enjoy what’s left of Marlene Dietrich Day on TCM. I recorded a couple of her films this morning and plan to watch two more tonight. Most of her movies are excellent, but for the life of me I’ll never understand why a woman with the musical ability of a tone deaf truck driver was always cast as a NIGHT CLUB SINGER. I’m just saying.
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