Friday, July 19, 2013

I either need a hug or Chinese food.

I wonder if anybody ever notices all the teeny tweaks I make to the Howdygram on a regular basis. Today, in case you’re not paying attention, I reduced the size of the banner and lightened the color of my headlines and links from black to charcoal. Try not to get used to it, though, because I’ll probably change it back one of these days.

We did it! We sold our 2001 Saturn this morning! A really pleasant car buyer dude from showed up right on time at 10, jumped the battery, drove the car onto a flatbed truck and handed Sam a wad of cash. We didn’t even have time to get nostalgic about our road trip to Sedona in 2002 (the best vacation EVER) or wave goodbye. I think this is called separation anxiety. I either need a hug or Chinese food.

This morning I was unusually excited about a promotion from advertising some new products ... specifically three new low-carb bread mixes from Dixie Diner that you can bake in your bread machine. Except thank God I read the fine print on Netrition’s website before I ordered them because you have to add a lot of insane ingredients to these things, such as five extra-large eggs and half a pound of butter. For bread? WTF! This crap may be low-carb, but THE FAT AND CHOLESTEROL WILL KILL YOU. The only time I ever added five eggs and half a pound of butter to anything was a lifetime ago when I baked a decadent recipe for BROWNIES.

Sam called from work a couple of hours ago to let me know he might be home really, really late tonight. I’m so bored. I’m also still feeling under the weather (like last night) with that hypothermic body temperature crapola, chills, joint and muscle pain and so on. I want somebody to come over and bring me something wonderful to eat. Like cookies, grilled cheese or Mongolian chicken. And chocolate milk! While I wait for all these good things to happen I’ll probably watch a couple of cute baseball movies from 1933 starring Joe E. Brown: Alibi Ike with Olivia de Havilland and Elmer the Great with Preston Foster and Claire Dodd.
Earlier today I watched another good baseball movie called Death on the Diamond (1934), a damn clever whodunit starring Robert Young and Madge Evans in which a homicidal maniac is murdering the St. Louis Cardinals one at a time ... during baseball games!
The useless Republicans in Congress are at it again. Check out this video clip from Stephen Colbert regarding typical obstructionist GOP horseshit ... this time it’s food stamp funding and the Farm Bill. No kidding, I’d like to whack some of these dickheads unconscious with my cane. TONIGHT.

I need something entertaining to do so maybe I’ll just inject insulin and eat a nice bowl of chia seed pudding. It’s a full life. Thank you for reading this.

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