Announcing the Howdygram’s Great 2012 Mashed Potato Vending Machine Campaign.

In the face of a crumbling global economy, widespread national drought and Donald Trump still clinging to that pointless “birther” horseshit, 7-Eleven has discovered what the modern world needs more than anything else: A MASHED POTATO VENDING MACHINE.

International spice and gravy manufacturer Maggi has developed the “Magic Maggi” machine that dispenses a wad of mashed potatoes into a little paper cup with a spray of brown gravy on top. I wasn’t too impressed by the YouTube video (below) since the mashed potatoes apparently are rehydrated potato flakes — remember Hungry Jack? — with the consistency of wallpaper paste, but the notion of instant comfort food from a convenience store is almost too good to be true. Imagine being able to buy Tic Tacs, pencils, car deodorizer, a sugar-free Slurpee and mashed potatoes ... ALL AT THE SAME TIME!



At present this automated food marvel is available only in 7-Eleven’s stores in Singapore. And although there are no immediate plans to introduce them in the United States, the Howdygram would like to launch The Great 2012 Mashed Potato Vending Machine Campaign by bombarding  7-Eleven’s corporate headquarters with a vast number of written requests:

7-Eleven, Inc.

Guest Relations

P.O. Box 711

Dallas, TX 75221-0711

There’s also a contact form embedded on 7-Eleven’s website but it’s not too easy to find. Click here to give it your best shot and don’t hesitate to tell them the Howdygram sent you.

We received a really big Schwan’s delivery this morning with all of our favorite products because we ran out of practically EVERYTHING last week. This included one or more of each of the following:

Our regular driver is on vacation this week so we wound up with a new temporary doofus. I’m pretty sure nobody gives a crap about this, however. (Including me.)

Just a quick reminder that the new season of “Project Runway” premiers tomorrow night on Lifetime, offering another excellent opportunity to watch a bevy of overtly gay and emotional designers creating extremely strange and unappealing clothes. Please don’t forget to tune in and — as always — thank you for reading this!