Lately everybody’s been reading and hearing a lot about the
Higgs boson, the sub-atomic “God particle” that’s even more complex than the mind-boggling concept of unbreakable taco shells. I just read an article in which Dr. David Miller of Purdue University explains the Higgs boson as “the glue that holds the universe together.” (I never knew it was coming apart ... did you?) Professor Peter Higgs, who actually predicted discovery of the God particle almost half a century ago, poses below for a portrait at the new
Higgs Centre for Theoretical Physics in Scotland.
I’ll bet he understands the taco shell theory, too.
The second-biggest story in the news concerns the secret divorce settlement between Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise (pictured below), which apparently was hammered out almost overnight because they first announced their break-up barely one week ago. I wouldn’t be surprised if Katie has some really huge dirt on Tom’s controlling science fiction religious cult, Scientology, because she even gets
sole custody of their six-year-old daughter.
For the record, your eyes do not deceive you. Holmes is at least a foot taller than Cruise. (I’m pretty sure nobody gives a crap about this, however.)
Here’s an exciting shopping opportunity for those of you with sophisticated palates. The Howdygram’s consumer affairs department is pleased to announce that
Amazon.com is offering great prices on GEFILTE FISH, my favorite food group after Mongolian chicken. Gefilte fish also provides an excellent reason to consume large quantities of horseradish.
I bought three 24-ounce jars for $19.99 with no tax and free shipping, which is a damn good deal when you consider this size jar is regularly $10.99. Stay tuned for details of our upcoming Summer Gefilte Fish Festival.
I’ve been wide awake since 3:45 this morning. The only reasonable explanation is that I went to bed way too early last night. And because I also went to bed
hungry, now I’m sitting here with a craving for a Sausage Egg McMuffin. This is a serious dilemma because McDonald’s doesn’t open for another hour. I’ll have to eat TicTacs in the meantime.
Thank you for reading this. Really.
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