Austrian court issues a ban on unnecessary cowbells.

While Sam is taking a second afternoon nap (this time in bed) I thought I’d horse around for a while with the Howdygram because it’s 104° outside and too damn hot to do anything else. I don’t even feel like cooking so Sam promised we’d either order from China City or pick up a sack of barbecue from Dickey’s. I’d suggest gefilte fish but that’s what I ate for lunch.

I’m unable to discuss the biggest breaking news story of the day because I’m already so sick of James Eagan Holmes I could throw up. His name makes me sick, his face makes me sick, the fact that idiot losers can own assault rifles makes me sick, and — more importantly — I’ve never been a fan of that frightening Dark Knight Batcrap, anyway. Everybody knows the only REAL Batman and Robin were Adam West and Burt Young.

The second most important news story comes to us from Austria, where a civic court last week banned cowbells from a field after residents complained they couldn’t sleep because of the endless clanging. The owner of the cows had refused to remove the bells and argued that they were an Austrian tradition and he liked the sound. But after judge Erich Kundegraber paid a visit to the aforementioned field near Stallhofen he ruled in favor of the neighbors, since there was no need to hang bells on cows when they’re easily visible in a fenced field and not roaming around on a mountain like Julie Andrews.

There is currently a general panic spreading across Austria, as it remains unclear to what extent the ruling sets a precedent that could lead to the widespread ban of cowbells altogether. Holy crapsburg.

While I wait for Sam to get up from his nap I think I’ll watch an “Antiques Roadshow” rerun and a racy little pre-Code Barbara Stanwyck movie called Illicit (1931) where she plays a free-thinker who wants to live with her boyfriend rather than marry him. The shock of this concept is almost more than I can bear.

A nice pose from the movie appears above. Stanwyck is pictured with Natalie Moorhead on the left and Joan Blondell on the right. Thank you for reading this.