Monday, March 21, 2011

It’s good to have friends in high places.

George and Laura Bush love me. This is amusing, ridiculous and really hard to believe, since I was no Bush fan during his eight years in office and still don’t have any use for him except as a Howdygram sidebar to showcase his unforgettable public speaking skills. During the past year the Bushes have sent me — not Sam, just ME — numerous attractive welcome letters with pictures (Laura’s gaining weight), engraved and signed certificates, way too many fundraising requests, and now, if I remit $50, an opportunity to be “permanently inscribed in the Freedom Registry” at the George W. Bush Presidential Center Museum. As an incentive, they included a virtually worthless plastic membership card (see below) with an artist’s rendering of an imaginary building on the SMU campus in Dallas that hasn’t broken ground. I am, as you might expect, honored, humbled, deeply moved and confused as hell.
So. Did y’all have a nice weekend? We didn’t do much and enjoyed every minute of it. I ordered a West Bend electric can opener from (see right) and baked a loaf of pumpernickel, but my #1 goal — aside from laundry — was to learn how to use the remote with our new AT&T U-Verse DVR.

At this moment in time I’m pleased to report that I’ve already mastered all of the following functions: 1) turning the TV and DVR on and off; 2) recording and erasing movies; 3) setting up series recordings for “Top Chef”, “People’s Court”, “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” and “Hardcore Pawn”; and 4) adjusting the volume. I’m sure I’ve only scratched the surface. Whenever I’m ready to advance to the next level AT&T offers an assortment of condescending on-demand instructional videos.

And now it’s time for a hot shower, dinner and a mountain of unfolded socks! Life is good in Texas. I’ll bet you wish you were here.

No comments: