Meet two of the Seven Dwarfs.

Yesterday when Dr. M decided to prescribe pain medication for me she commented that she could go one of two ways with this: 1) a narcotic (Vicodin) that could cause nausea and dizziness; or 2) a non-narcotic (Ultracet) that might make me feel tired and loopy. I chose number two, explaining that I definitely prefer dopey and sleepy to nauseated and dizzy. And so, as I begin my daily regimen of Ultracet tablets today, I am pleased to introduce you to two of the Seven Dwarfs ... the newest residents here at Club Meds:

Incidentally, I just received a call from Dr. M’s nurse with the results of yesterday’s lab work. My kidney function is improved, blood glucose looks good, cholesterol is normal, triglycerides are high, and the test for rheumatoid arthritis (R.A.) is negative BUT there’s a “highly elevated indicator” for lupus — no! NOT LUPUS! — and I’m being referred to a rheumatologist for further investigation. Apparently lupus can mimic the symptoms of R.A., although the indicator could only be a “false positive.” I am oddly flummoxed by this concept but concede that it might just be Dopey kicking in.

Concerning hoo-hah with my triglycerides, Dr. M is prescribing Lopid 600 mg. and I can pick it up at the pharmacy later this afternoon.

I just ordered a bottle of the most incredible perfume in the world from Amazon.com: B-Exquisite by Bijan. I received a free sample a few days ago and the scent was absolutely hypnotic. The only other fragrances that have ever affected me like this are Maja and Rive Gauche. I discovered both when I was in college and both are on my vanity tray in the master bathroom as I write this. I can’t wait to marinate in B-Exquisite. I like to smell good.

Also, I saw a local news item today that fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger has proposed the following new uniform for the Dallas Cowboys:

To tell you the truth, it’s got kind of a sissy vibe to it and looks more like an outfit for a middle school girls’ soccer team. I think Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones should worry less about uniforms and more about why his crew of overpaid egomaniacs can’t win a championship.

Thank you for reading this.