Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Welcome to Club Meds.

If you’ve been following my posts you’ll know I saw my doctor this morning for a quarterly checkup. As expected, Dr. M added to my list of prescriptions in an effort to alleviate an ever-expanding list of chronic pain issues. The latest additions are Ultracet four times a day plus a seven-day regimen of Methylprednisolone (see below).
I will take these in addition to Benazepril-Hydrochlorothiazide, Metformin, Glyburide, Aldactone, Pravachol and 2,000 daily units of Vitamin D for a variety of other annoying ailments that include high blood pressure, edema, type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol and anemia. Apparently the only ailments I do NOT have are bubonic plague and an enlarged prostate. Welcome to Club Meds. The line for the disco forms to the left.

Do not eat this, ever. I had an exceptionally miserable dinner tonight thanks to a Sam’s Choice 9-Layer Meat Lasagna that I found lurking at the bottom of my freezer. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with this entree other than the bad smell, the nasty flavor, the snot-like consistency of the “bechamel” filling and noodles so tough they must have been steel-belted radials in a previous life. After wasting an hour and 20 minutes waiting for this beast to cook I threw out the entire tray and ate a couple of hard-boiled eggs and a handful of raisins. You can always count on raisins.

Thank you for reading this.

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