Three big hoo-hahs revealed.

Summer starts today in north Texas. The temperature will hit 92° by late afternoon, and in my humble opinion this is at least six weeks too soon to commence sweating. We’re having NO SPRING WEATHER at all. But I suppose I shouldn’t whine about this, because it will be 125° here by June with 143% humidity. (I might be exaggerating.)

Our fence installers will be here on Monday. Sam got the news yesterday from our sales rep at Sunnyvale Fence. He’s uncontrollably excited about this (Sam, not the sales rep) and darts into the back yard at least six times a day to remind me how GORGEOUS it will be out there. I certainly hope so, because fences are really expensive.

In-n-Out Burger’s grand opening is scheduled for mid-May. I never understood the big deal about In-n-Out Burger, southern California’s iconic fast food chain, but they’re getting ready to deliver their cult-like brand of greasy crap to north Texas by opening two restaurants in the Dallas area. The food critic from the Dallas Morning News has been following the story with enough detailed daily “In-n-Out Watch” updates to crowd out William and Kate’s wedding.

Just between us, the only food-related California transplant I’d love to see in Dallas is Trader Joe’s, the best gourmet market on the planet. I miss them so much I could cry, especially their frozen salmon burgers, cottage cheese, stuffed green peppers and mock egg salad made from soybeans.

Every six months I send an email to Trader Joe’s corporate office and beg them to consider opening stores in Dallas. I think they think I’m nuts, which is entirely possible especially if they read the Howdygram.

Today is round two of the Masters at Augusta National. Thank you for reading this. No kidding.