Looking for that little spark of joy.

In case you haven’t noticed, the world is going to hell in a handbasket right now. There’s a massacre in the Ivory Coast, civil war in Libya, radiation leaking in Japan, sad and delusional Newt Gingrich wanting to run for President and Tiger Woods still can’t win a game of golf. With news headlines like this, life can only get BETTER.

And so I’m pleased to report on three new Schwan’s food products that I tried last week. Here’s the whole scoop.

Schwan’s Soft Stuffed Pretzels with Cheese are extremely cute and tasty little doo-dads that go great alongside a nice tall Marcy-tini. They bake in only eight minutes or you can nuke them, but I recommend the oven method or they don’t cook evenly. NOBODY LIKES A COLD HOT PRETZEL. (What an idiotic sentence.) I also love Schwan’s Cheeseburgers, which are FLAME-BROILED and addicting with terrific flavor. However I had to invent my own microwave cooking method because the instructions on the box didn’t work out so well. (I hate over-nuked buns.) And last but not least there’s Schwan’s Breaded Catfish Fillets, a good idea gone bad. These strange little slabs cook up just fine and stay moist in the oven ... but they have NO TASTE WHATSOEVER. Please note: I might be basing this negative review on the fact that I ate three pieces at the start of my Ultracet incident Wednesday night and then spent the next several hours regretting it. I’m sure I’ll give this product a second chance (but not any time soon).

Sam and I talked about dim sum for lunch today at Hong Kong Royal in Carrollton. This is an excellent way to spend a Saturday! A nice alternative would be the “restaurant row” area on Greenville Avenue in Richardson with enormous strip malls filled with dozens of authentic Chinese restaurants, the kind with chicken feet on the menu and customers who don’t speak English. In any event, maybe I’d better rest up a little more before our big adventure and go back to bed.

Thank you for reading this.