Einsteins walk among us.

Good morning, boys and girls. It’s Friday the 13th in Howdygramland, a “holiday” that means absolutely nothing to me whatsoever and therefore I have zero plans to alter any of my daily activities, which include: 1) making the bed; 2) eating beet borscht; 3) stain removal; and 4) writing this post.

Breaking news. I started injecting 16 units of Lantus insulin last night at bedtime. This is not particularly exciting, per se, but it’s a life-changing event for a person with type 2 diabetes because I have to test my blood sugar four times a day now. That’s a lot. And the damn testing supplies cost more than my medication.

On a lighter note, Arby’s is announcing FREE CURLY FRIES — no purchase necessary — at all of their restaurants on Income Tax Day, April 17. Free curly fries is a fine idea but the Howdygram strongly recommends that you avoid Arby’s pre-chewed roast beef sandwiches. Even Horsey Sauce can’t save them. (Why is this chain still in business?)

I’d like to talk about a local Einstein for a minute, okay? Meet Oliver Johnson (see below), Einstein extraordinaire, who burglarized a perfume store at the Allen Premium Outlet Mall early Sunday morning around 5 a.m., loaded his pickup with hundreds of bottles of designer fragrances and sped away. Unfortunately, he was spotted by a security guard, who called 911.

Police caught up with Johnson heading southbound on I-75 and chased him at speeds exceeding 100 m.p.h. through Allen, Plano, Richardson and into Dallas, where he eventually bailed out of his truck and ran like a maniac, dropping his photo I.D. At this point the police know who he is and where he lives, retrieve his vehicle and all the merchandise he’d stolen, and didn’t even have to work very hard to apprehend him. The following morning Einstein calls police headquarters to report his abandoned getaway vehicle stolen, so they tell him they have his truck if he wants to come on down and pick it up. Guess what happened next.

I have to empty the dryer now. Thank you for reading this. Seriously.