Friday, April 27, 2012

Wheelchairs, bona fide mushrooms and the joys of “textured vegetable protein.”

Hey, I almost forgot. I just placed an order with Shelf Reliance so I can restock the pantry with my three favorite products. Believe it or not, this crap is TERRIFIC.
In case you’re not familiar with faux food abbreviations, “TVP” stands for “textured vegetable protein” which, when compared to real meat: 1) is lower in fat and calories but tastes swell; 2) is a lot cheaper; 3) contains more protein; and 4) rehydrates in two or three minutes if you throw a fistful into soup or gravy. The freeze-dried mushrooms are self-explanatory. You just soak them in warm water for a few minutes and whammo ... BONA FIDE MUSHROOMS!

News flash. FedEx just delivered my wheelchair! It’s an impressive piece of equipment that’s completely assembled — thank God — and all we have to do is attach the foot rests, which arrived yesterday in a separate box for reasons that defy logic. Stay tuned for additional developments and a couple of photos.

Thank you for reading this.

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