PB2 looks and tastes like something you’d scrape off the bottom of your shoe.

Today’s pet peeve. Products that get phenomenal reviews online but turn out to be total crap. I refer specifically to PB2 and PB2 with Premium Chocolate, overpriced powdered peanut butter products that are sold mostly by Internet retailers — or in health food stores — to idiots like me who get sucked in by five-star reviews. “PB2 with Chocolate tastes just like a Reese’s peanut butter cup!” No, actually, it doesn’t. It looks and tastes more like something you’d scrape off the bottom of your shoe. I bought one jar of each flavor last week during a visit to Sugarless DeLite in north Dallas.

PB2 is marketed as a healthy peanut butter substitute with 85% less fat and calories and “all the flavor of real peanut butter” when reconstituted with ordinary tap water. Horseshit. You wind up with gritty, inedible slime that tastes best when you shovel it into the garbage disposer. I couldn’t eat even one spoonful, and that’s a depressing investment at $7.49 per jar.

And now for something completely different. During a brief shopping junket yesterday at Tom Thumb I bought myself a jar of SUGAR-FREE SWEET PICKLES, as pictured below. My favorite way to eat sweet pickles is with a grilled cheese sandwich and chocolate milk. Other dining options include: 1) skip the grilled cheese and just eat them with chocolate milk; 2) chop them up in tuna salad; or 3) that’s probably about it.

These Mt. Olive No Sugar Added Sweet Gherkins are teeny, crunchy and sweet but not quite sweet enough, so feel free to dredge them in Equal.

In case you’re interested, my haircut turned out GREAT this morning! I went to Salon 2000, the biggest salon in Mesquite, which apparently must be quite a distinction because they mention it constantly. Salon 2000 is a little more expensive than salons I’ve used in recent years but at least I didn’t come home with a shaved head. Plus, Tiffany gave me a couple of free Redken samples. I love free Redken samples.

And now I think I’ll mosey into the kitchen to rustle up some grub for Sam and me. Thank you for reading this.