Change the channel and pass the hot sauce.

Good news. I’ve finally recovered from the Texas Rangers’ loss to St. Louis in the World Series, and I can thank the Dallas Cowboys for that. Their amateur performance last night against the Philadelphia Eagles was so embarrassing it was like a high school game you hope your relatives forgot to attend … except in this case the Cowboys were on NATIONAL TELEVISION. They lost the game 34 to 7, with quarterback Tony Romo hurling passes into vacant air for the silliest performance of his career. Pictured below are the Cowboys’ highly paid strategists … head coach Jason Garrett (left) and premier doofus Rob Ryan, who needs to lay off the cheeseburgers. Or maybe he’s expecting twins.

Don’t tell anybody, but my birthday is coming up on Tuesday and we decided to celebrate yesterday because Sam works evenings during the week. So we went back to Mariano’s Hacienda for dinner, and it was awesome. And we had our favorite awesome waiter again, too … the entertaining Umberto, who refills water and ice tea with such speed and agility it should be an Olympic event.

And now I’d better wake Sam so we can go to bed. The lucky guy fell asleep during the Cowboys game and hasn’t moved an inch in more than two hours. Thank you for reading this and Happy Halloween. Boo, y’all.