Go Rangers!

Everybody around here went to bed early last night — immediately after the Rangers nailed game four of the World Series — but I hung out a little longer to watch an essential program I’d recorded a couple of hours earlier … part two of the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” reunion special on Bravo now that season three has come to an end.

For those of you who avoid this crap poop pop culture phenomenon, the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” is a reality show about five dysfunctional sequin addicts married to illiterate mafia wannabes. You can tell they’re all related by the way they talk to — and about — each other, and the reunion was a vicious, profanity-laced hate-fest that would make Jerry Springer proud. The “housewives” all wore glitter eye shadow and three quarts of lip gloss, made fake gagging sounds when they discussed each other’s husbands, and then everybody ganged up on Teresa, who deserved it, at least twice. This is truly excellent television.

Teresa is a Neanderthal and she has four equally-Neanderthalish daughters. She and her husband, Giuseppe Neanderthal, are $11 million in debt because sequins are expensive. Plus he’s facing 10 years in prison for defrauding his former business partner and for driving drunk with a fake ID.

If bimbos like this were involved in MY life I’d be first in line for the witness protection program and move to another continent. However, the reunion was so damn good I might have to watch it again. 

In other news, we’re taking mom to the Choctaw Casino today for a few hours at the penny slots and a swell buffet lunch. The buffet part is particularly important because they have a SUGAR-FREE DESSERT BAR with banana cream pie that’s so good I might even skip the entrees. The only reason we can’t leave RIGHT NOW is because there’s a dense fog event going on in north Texas. Weather.com says it’s supposed to lift by 10 a.m. but it’s awfully hard to believe them. (They lie.)

For your possible interest, below is a photo of George W. Bush throwing out the first pitch at last night’s World Series game.

Thank you for reading this.