Saturday, October 15, 2011

Breaking news from Texas.

I know everybody’s been dying to read the latest chapter of Marcy’s Adventures in Diabetesland, so I’m pleased to report that my most recent medication change to injectable Victoza is working out nicely and my blood sugar numbers are in the normal range now. Feel free to applaud if you want to. Thank you.

Guess what Sam and I did yesterday. WE WENT BACK TO THE CHOCTAW CASINO AND WON BIG MONEY AGAIN. As a matter of fact, I walked into the main entrance, sat down at the first penny slot machine I saw and won $11.90 on a 15¢ investment just waiting for Sam to park the car. Then I collected $42.50 from a screwy penny slot called Cash Wizard that kept awarding bonus rounds. At one point I’d won 45 CONSECUTIVE FREE SPINS while the speaker blasted several hundred choruses of the 1970s hit “It’s Magic” by Pilot. By the time we left Sam had cashed in more than $110 in vouchers and my ear drums had exploded.
In case you’re interested, the casino’s buffet was exceptionally good yesterday, too. We even pay half-price because we’ve got Players Club cards — which the casino gives out for free. I love free things.

For those of you wondering whatever happened to our new family room furniture, we’re still hoping for delivery sometime next week. The only piece missing is the right half of our sectional; the left half, Sam’s leather arm chair and the matching ottoman are already in stock. I CAN’T WAIT TO TAKE A NAP ON MY NEW SOFA. Stay tuned for more details as well as a comprehensive nap update.

October 15 is a date to remember for the following excellent reasons: 
  • 1863. The Confederate spy submarine C.S.S. Hunley sinks during a test run, killing its inventor and a crew of seven idiots.
  • 1917. World War I’s floozy spy Mata Hari is executed by a French firing squad. She was actually a Dutch citizen named Margaretha Geertruida Zelle who traveled around Europe disguised as an Asian stripper. It was an excellent disguise (see below).
  • 1965. First Viet Nam war draft card is burned. 
  • 2007. Drew Carey becomes host of “The Price Is Right.”
Thank you for reading this.

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