Gone but not forgotten.

This just in from the Howdygram’s World News Desk — MOAMMAR GADDAFI IS STILL DEAD. The latest report indicates his body is stuffed in a commercial freezer in a Libyan shopping mall. I’d be willing to bet it’s a Dairy Queen (just a hunch) but I can’t be positive about this.

What I find especially outrageous is why the United Nations is demanding to know exactly how Gaddafi died. They say he was filmed badly injured but still alive, and then all of sudden — HOLY COW — he’s dead in the next scene with a bullet hole in his head! Frankly, the U.N. shouldn’t waste its time with baloney like this because the answer is pretty obvious. It was an executive decision by one of the ten thousand armed rebels who captured the Libyan dictator, figuring we’re all way too pissed off to put this jerk on trial so let’s just end it now — and BLAM. Then they tie his body to the hood of a car and do a drive-by show & tell all over the city of Misrata. This was a smart move that also sends a clear message to Gaddafi’s whack-job sons in exile (see below) so nobody makes plans to pick up where dad left off.

Incidentally, I just read a fascinating article about Gaddafi from ABC News that revealed a few of his weirdest quirks. For instance: 1) he had a private team of 40 huge female bodyguards called “The Amazons” — all virgins — who wore heavy makeup and combat boots with stiletto heels; 2) he was in love with former U.S. secretary of state Condoleeza Rice and when rebels stormed his compound in Tripoli they found an exceptionally neat photo album filled with pictures of her; and 3) he was scared of elevators.

And now it’s time for a late lunch or a very early dinner. In either case it’ll be leftover Chinese accompanied by last night’s episode of “Project Runway,” which is one of my favorite meals when Sam isn’t home. Thank you for reading this.