Football from a new perspective.

Here’s what you’ve all been waiting for — photos from Sam’s VIP tour of Cowboys Stadium! The best part, apparently, was the fact that the Cowboys were actually PRACTICING yesterday so Sam had a chance to hang out at the 50-yard line along with the coaches and Gatorade boys!

Other points of interest included Jerry Jones’ luxury suite and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders’ locker room. The latter featured life-size photos of the finest bimbos in Texas wearing practically no clothes whatsoever. Yee-ha, y’all.

And now I’d like to critique the worst reality competition show of all time, Bravo’s “Work of Art.” The new season debuted last night and the 14 artists/contestants are the most bizarre flock of whack jobs I’ve ever seen. I’ll feature two of the worst for your possible enlightenment — Kathryn and Sucklord. (No kidding. That’s his name.)

Kathryn makes three-dimensional art and faux human organs from dough and rags splattered with jelly, red fruit juice and berry stains and then photographs them. Frankly, this is way beyond disgusting and looks more like crap from the floor of an operating room.

Sucklord designs art toys and “evil arts action figures” and describes himself as a geeky nerd. Truth is, Sucklord is also snotty as hell and void of any visible talent. I’d be willing to bet he was a special needs student in high school.

Sucklord was almost eliminated on the first night of competition even though the show’s art expert and mentor, Simon DePury, is a huge Sucklord fan and has even paid money for his gay action figures like Homotrooper, pictured above. Simon frightens me beyond belief. THIS IS NOT ART.

Before I go back to bed I’d like to thank y’all for letting me unload. Have a nice day.