Dining, dancing and here comes the cold front.

In case you’ve been looking for a reason to shoot off fireworks the week before Halloween, today is CHICKEN FRIED STEAK DAY, as big a deal in Texas as concealed handguns and remembering the Alamo. A chicken-fried steak — in case you don’t know — is a slab of cheap pounded round steak dredged in batter, deep-fried and slathered with a dense white gravy that’s frequently mistaken for wallpaper paste. This is the cornerstone of a fine, nutritious Texas meal when accompanied by a couple of canned vegetables and instant mashed potatoes, as illustrated below.

Incidentally, since chicken-fried steak doesn’t usually appear on restaurant menus outside the Lone Star State you’ll find 108 recipe variations of this Texas classic on Cooks.com guaranteed to delight your family and unsuspecting friends. A Lipitor parfait is recommended for dessert.

Last night Sam and I kept mom company while she watched three consecutive hours of “Dancing with the Stars.” This included a two-hour episode that I recorded for her on Monday plus Tuesday’s BIG ELIMINATION SHOCKER.

While I realize this is an intensely popular program, in whose delusional fantasyland are D-listers like Rob Kardashian, Nancy Grace and Chaz Bono considered STARS?

This is all such ghastly, mind-numbing crap that it makes “Operation Repo” look like “Masterpiece Theater.” When Chaz Bono was eliminated last night she he whined that the judges were being “too judgmental” — what a concept! — by referring to her him as a penguin and kicking him off the show. They were, in fact, just being kind to the viewers at home because Chaz Bono dances like a CLYDESDALE.

And NOTHING could have ever prepared me for the sight of Nancy Grace — CNN’s insufferable legal Rottweiler — decked out in sequins. This woman may be built for crucifying defendants on national television before they have their day in court, but she’s NOT built for dancing the jive in a push-up bra.

In weather news, we’ve got a cold front on the way! Weather.com says the temperature is supposed to dip into the upper 40s overnight and stay there for about 24 hours, and steady rain is in the forecast all day tomorrow. This is actually extremely good news for drought-stricken Texas, and a day of rain doesn’t bother me whatsoever. I’ve got a pile of excellent movies stored in my DVR — including Earth vs. the Flying Saucers and The Gamma People — and more than enough material for a variety of additional meaningless Howdygram posts.

Don’t forget game six of the World Series tonight and thank you for reading this.