Haunted by the ghosts of carbohydrates past.

In this post: Hypoglycemia, special deliveries, a Putz of the Week, a movie review.

I woke up from a nice, long nap around 4:30 this afternoon and for no valid reason whatsoever discovered that my blood sugar had plummeted to 50. FIFTY! Why the hell would this happen, when I injected a calculated dose of insulin at lunch time? Am I being plagued by demons? Haunted by the ghosts of carbohydrates past?

There’s no way my blood sugar should have dropped so low, and this illustrates the overall shittiness and frustrating unpredictability of diabetes. You expect a certain outcome based on previous experience and your disease blows it all to hell. I knew something was wrong as soon as I stood up and walked down the hall with no pain in my knees. The only time I’m ever pain-free is when my brain shuts down from hypoglycemia. When I finally maneuvered into the study — maybe 10 seconds later — I was bumping into walls and struggling not to land on my ass.

The moral of the story? CARRY EMERGENCY CHOCOLATE. Thank you.

I’m expecting a gigantic hoo-hah here tomorrow with millions of thrilling deliveries from Amazon, Wal-Mart, FragranceShop.com and Archie McPhee. Included in these shipments are such delights as new throw pillows for the master bedroom, Thanksgiving-flavored gumballs, fancy perfume knockoffs, shampoo, Tylenol and two kinds of Band-Aids. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight.

And finally, here’s our latest Putz of the Week. Meet Tony Perkins, president of the right-wing Family Research Council, who argued today in a Fox News interview that employers deserve the religious freedom to deny contraception coverage for women because “that’s why the Pilgrims came here.”

In other words, Perkins the Putz wants the liberty to take away everybody else’s liberty. I’m positive this moron doesn’t get the irony ... and he certainly doesn’t get history. Pilgrims and birth control? Seriously? The Pilgrims were run out of Europe for superstitious crackpot horseshit like witch-burning and murdering cats, the latter causing an explosion in the rat population that resulted in widespread pestilence, bubonic plague and death. Yes indeed, Mr. Perkins, let’s idolize those righteous Pilgrims for being almost as stupid as you.

I want to watch a movie now. This time it’s Storm in a Teacup (1937) starring Rex Harrison and Vivien Leigh, sort of a British screwball comedy. The plot involves a gutsy small-town reporter in Scotland (Harrison) who uncovers political corruption ... and then falls in love with the aforementioned corrupt politician’s daughter (Leigh). I like this movie more and more every time I see it.

Others in the cast include Cecil Parker as the arrogant Provost Willie Gow (Vivien Leigh’s father) and character actress Sara Allgood as Mrs. Hegarty, a poor widow whose dog “Patsy” is confiscated by Gow because she can’t afford a license. This outrage is the last straw for Harrison, who launches a nationwide “SAVE PATSY” protest campaign against Gow to help get Mrs. Hegarty’s dog back. This is a terrific film. Keep an eye out for it on TCM, okay?

Thanks for stopping by. I think I need a lot of snacks now.