Saturday, November 9, 2013

I’m finally done with my now-former deadbeat client from hell.

In this post: Divorcing a client, re-sheeting a bed, throwing pillows.

As I write this post Sam is at the post office mailing a large, joyously evil envelope to my now-former deadbeat client from hell in California. Her elusive “overnight check” — the one that missed four deadlines since October 1, got lost in the mail twice and took five weeks to get here — finally arrived yesterday via UPS and is on its way back to her today. Unopened.

She doesn’t know it yet, but WE’RE DONE. And I’m one giant leap closer to retirement!

In case you’re interested in the sleeping habits of diabetic senior citizens with suffocating microfiber sheets, it happened AGAIN last night. I was too hot to get comfortable when I went to bed and sat around in the study doing practically nothing until 5:30 this morning, at which time I was so freakin’ exhausted I could have fallen asleep standing in line at Wal-Mart. (Except, technically, I haven’t been inside a Wal-Mart since 2009.) Recognizing my misery, Sam has agreed to rip those damn sheets off the bed this afternoon and stuff them in the garbage. Phooey!

All is not lost, however, because this morning I ordered TWO NEW SETS OF SHEETS on eBay and a couple of attractive NEW DECORATIVE PILLOWS from Amazon for our bed, as pictured below. The sheets are 800TC Egyptian cotton, one set in tomato red and the other in taupe. The 18-inch pillows are a leafy pattern on chenile. Oh boy, right?
I think I should eat something now and consider a nap. Thank you for reading this. Seriously.

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