Friday, November 8, 2013

Sam will be so excited to find $4.5 million in our checking account!

In this post: Blender entertainment, lemon curd, a Hanukkah windfall, the perfect Patty Melt.

Hi. I’m hungry. While I decide what’s for dinner tonight I think I’ll bake myself a lovely low-carb crustless cheesecake, which is an easy recipe that you throw together in one convenient bowl with an immersion blender. You can also use a regular blender, but the immersion thing is more interactive and provides substantial entertainment value. I don’t get to use mine often enough. (Damn.)

In case you give a crap, this time the Howdygram test kitchen will substitute low-carb Jok-n-Al Lemon Curd for the sour cream topping, mostly because I’ve had a sealed jar sitting in the refrigerator for at least three months and seriously don’t know what else to do with it. Lemon curd is basically like the filling in a lemon meringue pie, and shmearing lemon meringue pie on a cheesecake has to be better than sex and the best food invention of the century.
In other news, this is my lucky day, people! I just received the following OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT EMAIL from Mr. Alex John of Africa:

ATTENTION PLEASE. I obtained your contact name through a secret database of foreigners who are owed vast sums of money by the Government, the Central Bank and by individual Banks and Institutions in this Country. I have put in place a system to pay you this money sum of $4.5 Million immediately, so contact us for more details and the account transfer information we require.

Sam will be SO EXCITED to find $4.5 million in our checking account! JUST IN TIME FOR HANUKKAH!

One final thought. I’ve just decided to make myself a REAL PATTY MELT SANDWICH for dinner tonight featuring low-carb rye bread, a frozen pre-cooked Angus burger from Costo, American cheese and a pile of sugar-free ketchup. Just between us, the star of the show is definitely the low-carb rye from Even though it only has one net carb per slice, it LOOKS like real rye bread, it TASTES like real rye bread, it SOUNDS like real rye bread and it even has REAL CARAWAY SEEDS!
FYI, I found the Patty Melt sandwich pictured above on Google. I never use this much cheese and I don’t have any green printed paper plates. Thank you.

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