Free Slurpees, an exciting new gadget and gefilte fish investments.

Let’s start with the biggest news story first, okay? Until 7 p.m. today you can get FREE SLURPEES AT 7-ELEVEN! And this even includes their new SUGAR-FREE Slurpees! Giveaways are genuinely wonderful and you shouldn’t miss this opportunity to save money while ingesting a large pile of dyed, artificially-flavored and chemically-altered slush.

I also want to include another edition of the Howdygram’s popular Holy Crap Gallery, this time featuring a trio of iconic female celebrities: Dolly Parton, Lauren Hutton and Marlo Thomas. Just between us, Lauren Hutton scares the hell out of me.

Here’s something cool. Sam and I visited the Apple Store online yesterday and ordered ourselves an iPad that will be here TOMORROW. This is our first real wireless device — we don’t even own smartphones — not counting my cordless mouse and it’s partially an investment for the road trip we’re planning next month so we won’t go insane without the Internet and email. Holy crap, is this exciting or what? I can’t wait to start shopping for apps. This might be more fun than hunting for gefilte fish discounts on Amazon.

Please note. The aforementioned Amazon gefilte fish discounts apparently have dried up since Passover ended and there are no current deals available anywhere unless you decide to shop at the KC Kosher Co-op, where you can get 24 oz. jars of Manischewitz for $6.86 each when you buy a case of 12, shipping included. However I don’t know if I’m ready to invest $82.30 in gefilte fish at the present time, particularly since our pantry is already stuffed with 36 cans of assorted Loma Linda fake meat and the world’s largest bag of tortilla chips from Costco.

Thank you for reading this.