Good morning from Texas, y’all. Got anything exciting planned for today? If not, turn on your TV around 4 p.m. (Central time) because it’s the first Saturday in May and time once again for the Kentucky Derby, that annual southern extravaganza of stupid hats and teeny dudes riding expensive horses, as depicted below for your possible interest.
For the golf fans among you, it looks like Tiger Woods has screwed up again ... this time at the Wells Fargo Championship at Quail Hollow when he didn’t make the cut yesterday after round two. This dude’s game is really in the toilet and I can’t figure out why he’s still entering so many tournaments, especially after last month’s disaster at the Masters.
Hey! It rhymes! Seriously, doesn’t Tiger have anything else to fall back on? Like hosting at a restaurant or selling Amway? For his next birthday somebody — his
mother, for instance — should buy him a gift certificate for career counseling.
Diabetes bargains abound! I just ordered FOUR BOXES of 50 FreeStyle Lite test strips — enough to last me a few months — from
Amazon because the weather’s getting warmer and you don’t want to mail-order heat-sensitive products like glucose test strips in the middle of summer around here when it’s hot enough to fry a couple of eggs on the hood of your Hyundai. In case you’re wondering,
no, this was NOT a fun way to spend $107, but test strips on Amazon cost about 70% less than buying them from a pharmacy so at least I know I got a decent deal.
Anybody been following that story about Patricia Krentcil, the “tanning mom” from New Jersey? She’s that belligerent, partly-toothless, leather-faced Einstein who took her five-year-old daughter into a tanning booth with her and wound up getting arrested on April 24 when the kid showed up at school burned to a crisp. Krentcil has been released on bond but faces up to 10 years in prison if she’s convicted of child endangerment. When asked by a TMZ reporter if she considered the case to be a witch hunt, Krentcil replied: “Yes. They’re jealous, they’re fat and they’re ugly.”
I’m desperately in need of lunch. A couple of Big Franks with mustard or leftover Mongolian chicken immediately come to mind, but I could also do a low-carb bagel with American cheese or a tasty baloney taco (Oscar Mayer baloney in a low-carb flour tortilla). Just in case you haven’t paid attention to my earlier posts, Big Franks are soy hotdogs in a can.
I love them.
If you want to join me for lunch please RSVP via
email within the next 10 minutes. Thank you for reading this.
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