It’s 9:45 in the morning as I begin this post and I’ve already made the bed, checked my blood sugar and taken a small fistful of pills. I have no other plans for the day whatsoever aside from eating a variety of generally strange food, talking to Sam, folding two bath towels, taking an afternoon nap and watching “Deadliest Catch” and “Hardcore Pawn.” If I play my cards right I won’t have to wear shoes or a brassiere or even
open the front door, since I’m not expecting any deliveries until tomorrow.
I love my life. It may be dull but it’s exceptionally satisfying.
Actually, I can always count on amusing
emails to perk up my day, such as one I just received from
FiltersFast.com. Keep in mind, this is the website where I spend $29.95 once a year for a water filter for our GE Profile refrigerator, and for some reason that defies logic the company finds it necessary to send out a weekly email ad packed with “sizzling hot deals.” For your possible interest — although I can’t imagine
why — today’s specials include: 1) the ED Lab Indoor Air Home Mold Test Kit for $37.99; 2) filters for your Kenmore whole-house humidifier at two for $10.99; and 3) the ever-popular Bemis West Bend 5-inch Humidifier Filter Belt on sale for $7.99.
Glorioski, let’s go shopping!
Before I shlep myself into the kitchen for an early lunch because I’m starving, here’s the lousy plastic surgery edition of our Holy Crap Gallery.
From our Huge Red Flag department I find it necessary here to dispute Charo’s
current age. She claims she was born in 1951 (the same year as me) but her performance credits list “The Ed Sullivan Show” in the early 1960s, at which time she was already married to bandleader Xavier Cugat but wants us to believe she was only 13 years old.
Fat chance. I remember seeing Charo on TV when I was in junior high and there’s
no way we’re the same age. The crazy “cuchi-cuchi” girl sliced a decade from her birth certificate.
It’s definitely time for food. Thank you for reading this.
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